GOOD CRIPS GO TO HEAVEN BUT GET STUCK AT THE STAIRWAY

This poem was initially published as a digital zine for Red Dirt Poetry Festival in 2020. The first few pages are attached below. You can read the full zine here and image descriptions here.

GOOD CRIPS GO TO HEAVEN BUT GET STUCK AT THE STAIRWAY
after Quin Eli

Be bad, love. Take that bad attitude
and forge it into armour. Turn chains
into chainmail. Take the rage and rancour
and make it plated bronze, brace your joints
in bitterness. Blaze apotropaic iron
out of acrimony, glare back at staring eyes.
Rebel and revolt. Forget that carceral logic,
be grassroots, be light and fire. Let your disabled body
be fierce and furious, let your disabled mind
be ardent and wild. Wrap steel around your heart
and let your heart stay soft. The life you have
is a life worth living. Be proud, love.
Be loud and unashamed. Fold fear into a shield,
let all of it reflect away. Don’t look back,
don’t dwell in regret. Let yourself seek redemption
without the tragic backstory, without justification
or explanation, without “what’s wrong with you”
or “what happened”. Let it happen.
Bite the hand. Demand, don’t ask.
If they care, they’ll fight beside you. Piss on pity
and inspiration, reject involuntary martyrdom.
Be that transgender menace, that lavender threat.
Be damned, love. You’re there already.
The world is burning. Take hell
and make it yours, be hell on wheels.
Be monstrous, be the bad example,
the bad influence, the bad cripple.
Be noncompliant. Speak in your own language.
Live fast, live strong. Fight for liberation
not assimilation. Remember solidarity,
stay strange, keep weird and queer,
and always channel anger into action.
You are loved and not alone. There is more than this
and more to come. Be joyous, my love, be bad.

Good Crips Go to Heaven But Get Stuck at the Stairway
after Quin Eli
Robin M Eames
Picture: a white genderqueer wheelchair user in a graffitied alleyway.
Text: Be bad, love. Take that bad attitude and forge it into armour. Turn chains into chainmail. Take the rage and rancour and make it plated bronze, brace your joints in bitterness.

image: colourful graffiti on a wall including the text ‘transphobes with no teeth’; a close-up photo of a brass microscope
                               Blaze apotropaic iron
out of acrimony, glare back at staring eyes.
Rebel and revolt. 

[image: a hand passing through flame; an x-ray of Robin’s cervical spine in flexion and extension, where their lip piercing is visible]
Forget that carceral logic,
be grassroots, be light and fire. 

[image: close-up of poppies; film photo of orange and yellow nemesia flowers]
Let your disabled body
be fierce and furious, let your disabled mind
be ardent and wild. 

[image: Robin wearing a colourful dress doing a wheelie in front of a graffiti-covered wall; a long exposure shot of a rainbow hoop, with colourful streams of light flaring out around a vague figure]
Wrap steel around your heart
and let your heart stay soft. The life you have
is a life worth living. 

[image: vibrantly coloured cardiac echoes of Robin’s wonky heart; eucalypts at dusk]

LOVE-LIES-BLEEDING

I have a poem published in the most recent issue of Voiceworks, LOVE-LIES-BLEEDING.

Aphrodite is the oldest of the Olympian gods, and I thought about exploring a darker, more primordial reading of her. As the goddess of love and beauty, her marriage to disabled Hephaestus is often seen as a cosmic joke. I wanted to see that conflict resolved with a queer turn.

This will be my last poem in Voiceworks, since I turned 25 a few days after the submission deadline. I am deeply grateful to Voiceworks editor Adalya Nash Hussein for helping shape this poem into something I am sincerely proud of (and for being very patient while I rambled on at length about mythic context).

The issue includes a breathtaking illustration by Iona Julian-Walters accompanying my poem. You can pick up a copy here.

 

LOVE-LIES-BLEEDING

Here’s another version. Aphrodite is an old god,
older than most. She is born when Cronus cuts off
his father’s dick and flings it into the ocean. Around
the severed organ silver foam wells up, and in time
a girl takes shape in the crest of the wave, her body
pale and shining. When she emerges from the water
grass grows beneath her feet. Her outline wavers
a little in the blush of dawn, lit around with gold.
This is before she knows the form of her divinity.
She thinks she might be a goddess of the morning,
or of summer blossoms, or birdsong. But her teeth
are a little too sharp for that, the arch of her throat
too cruel. She lacks the batlike wings of her infernal
sisters, the jealous Furies, but there is something
in her eyes that resembles them. What she wants,
she takes. Her attention is first drawn to her husband
by the bright rubies winking in his earlobes, then by
the delicate treasures he crafts as courting-gifts:
grand chariots, jewelled chalices, fine-wrought chains.
His prosthesis is simple but lovely, a platinum frame
spun lightly around the scarred warp of his leg.
Hephaestus, like her, has an eye for beauty. Later
outside Troy the goddess hears a bloodcurdling cry
as brazen Ares comes blazing through the mortal
ranks, his eyes flashing with hellish flame, red with
gore, beautiful and terrible. She takes him to her bed
not long afterward. Stripped of his bloody raiment,
spilled out against her pillows, the god of strife is
strangely vulnerable. His hands are soft at his sides.
Aphrodite has no mercy in her: she rises over him,
bites and scratches, sinks her claws deep into his flesh.
Her husband finds them there like that. Ares glowing
under the light of the moon, Aphrodite pinning him
down. Hephaestus stops in the doorway, his shadow
stretching out over their bodies. His knuckles are white
around a golden net. His eyes are burning. Aphrodite
arches her back, tips her head back lazily to meet her
husband’s furious gaze; then she opens her arms to him
as Ares shudders beneath her. A moment of hesitation.
The golden mesh slips out of his hands. He strides forward.

RESISTANCE AND HOPE

DVP-cover-1600x2560

Illustration by artist Micah Bazant featuring a midnight blue sky with little white stars. Below is a log with mushrooms growing out of it in multiple shapes and colors. “Text reads: Resistance & Hope, Essays by Disabled People, Crip Wisdom for the People, Edited by Alice Wong, Disability Visibility Project.” The ‘o’ in ‘Hope’ looks like a full moon.

I am very excited to finally share Resistance and Hope, an anthology of essays by disabled writers and activists. The anthology is available to read here for free online.

I was very honoured to work as an editorial assistant (and herder of cats) for Alice Wong, the editor of the anthology.

Resistance and Hope is comprised of 16 essays by 17 multiply marginalised disabled people. Contributors include writer and advocate Vilissa Thompson on the audacity of hope as a Black woman; LGBQT advocate Victoria Rodriguéz-Roldán on respectability politics; attorney and activist Shain Neumeier on trauma and survival; ADAPT legend Anita Cameron on the importance of holding hope in darkness; activist Stacey Milbern on caregiving collectives and Medicaid cuts; artists DJ Kuttin Kandiand Leroy Moore on hip hop and disability liberation; writer and artist Naomi Ortiz on self-care and growth; fearless agent of change Talila A. “TL” Lewis on resistance and revolutionary madness; writer and poet Aleksei Valentín on Judaism and disability solidarity; essayist and poet Cyree Jarelle Johnson on autism in a time of resistance; activist and poet Lev Mirov on death, grieving, and survival; autistic advocate and organiser Lydia X.Z. Brown on praxis, accountability, and intracommunity abuse; writer Mari Kurisato on colonial violence and visibility; comic Maysoon Zayid on the strategic fight for our rights in the Trump era; community organiser Mia Mingus on transformative justice and building alternatives to violence; and artist and writer Noemi Martinez on survival and multiple marginalisations.

This is crip wisdom for the people.

LOVECRY/BATTLESONG

Recently one of my poems was a finalist in the Coalition of Texans with Disabilities’ Pen2Paper disability-focussed creative writing contest. I have reproduced the text of the poem here.

To my crip siblings, crip lovers, & crip mentors, to Laura Hershey and to Stella Young.

LOVECRY/BATTLESONG

To the crips I love and who love me in return
from a distance or intimately close during
long nights where neither of us can sleep for pain
waiting for morning and the pain that morning brings
I am here for you.

To the crips who have been crips for longer
than I have been on this earth and who
welcomed me with open hearts and fire
of loving purpose in ancient battle
I am here for you.

To the crips who taught me power
comes from pride and pride comes from practicing
until you are proud (and that you don’t get proud
by being shit: you get proud by practicing)
I am here for you.

To the crips who do not know that they are crips
but know only that they hurt that their bones ache
that their muscles are heavy and that their eyes sting
in sunlight after another unhelpful appointment
I am here for you.

To the crips institutionalised and imprisoned
whose first crime was living and continuing to live
abused and neglected in homes that are not homes
trapped not in their bodies but by bar and mortar
I am here for you.

To the crips who sleep overnight
in desk chairs and wheelchairs
in the offices of politicians bedecked with banners
reading FREE OUR PEOPLE
I am here for you.

To the crips that have houses but not homes
or homes but not houses or neither home nor house
forced to live on the kindness and sideways glances
of strangers on public transport
I am here for you.

To the crips whose lands have been stolen
whose waters have been stolen
whose children have been stolen and whose lives
continue to be stolen
I am here for you.

To the crips who dislocate their hips
doing full service sex work to pay for medical bills
incurred from dislocating their hips
while doing full service sex work
I am here for you.

To the crips fighting to love each other
and to have their love recognised on equal terms
with all who are in love without penalty or price
or public stigma or getting bashed on street corners
I am here for you.

To the crips fighting to love themselves
after being unloved by those who should have loved them
or after being hurt by those who professed their love
but only when it was convenient
I am here for you.

To the crips who are drowning
in cold oceans seeking refuge or drowning
on dry land as their lungs fill with fluid
while emergency registrars do not watch
I am here for you.

To the crips who are burning
who have burnt out and from the ashes
are rising again charcoaled and brittle
and bold and battle-hardened
I am here for you.

To the crips who died
after living and loving and fighting
and then falling
to be remembered with love and fight
I am here for you.

To the crips who aren’t dead yet
living and fighting and fighting to live
and loving each other and fighting
for each other
I am here for you.

To the young crips, the old crips, the
queer crips, the trans crips, the brown crips,
the black crips, the proud crips, the tired crips,
the warrior crips, the poet crips, the dead and alive crips,
I think of you
I love and fight for you
I am here for you.