These two were published recently in Bramble, issue 2, a journal by and for disabled creatives. You can read the issue here.

Vocalisations was written during lockdown.

Song of the Biped was an experimental poem written in the voice of a nondisabled person. I recognise that adopting the voice of a community I don’t belong to is controversial, but I am fascinated by the unique worldview of abled people: their curiosity, their obliviousness, their rigid adherence to convention. Several nondisabled people offered unsolicited consultation for this poem.

VOCALISATIONS

in the dream of evening i am afraid
of the not yet everything / of happening
too much or not enough / i am lonely
covered over with every star concealed
by city smog to which i contribute
every heartbeat i shall never recover
i am trying not to be too obviously crazy
in the zoom call & in the streets populated
by cop cars & dogwalkers / warned by the
neighbourhood whatsapp / i learn birdsongs
thru the urban wail of sirens / love & war
& calls of alarm / contact & separation / flight / hunger
seeking justice or solace / i am trying to be
a version of myself i can live with
hoping to live past 30 / for the ordinary noise of life
restraining expectations in the hope of hope
for not yet i give myself to my community
to love / struggle / solidarity / to something
i give myself to birds
to each unlikely dawn

SONG OF THE BIPED

I have a cousin who’s     handicapped
you know, special needs ???
??? directionally challenged ??? living with     access ????
how’d you end up in that thing?
How much does it cost and was it
a car accident? Carbon fibre?
Did the government pay for it
out of my taxes?      Do you work?
doesn’t seem cost efficient
is it permanent     or temporary?
Are you permanent     or temporary?
I’d kill myself if I had to live like you
– that’s a compliment     of course
to your resilience.      I broke my leg once
so I know what it’s like. It must be so hard.
Is it hard to get up hills? I just think you’re     inspiring
just think you’re     so brave for continuing
to get up in the morning (I wouldn’t)
And how do you get that into a car?
How do you     have sex? How do you
get up in the morning? Well     I’ll pray for you
here     I’ll help push you oh it’s no trouble,
I like to be useful     It’s fine, I think it’s fine
I won’t ask permission. I’m helping
Mind if I lean my bag on your shoulder?
Oh it’s no trouble     Hey, where’s your carer?
Why are you out here by yourself?
That’s not right. It’s so nice to see you out,
of course     You’re so brave     Not like those
dole bludgers. Were you born like that? Hey
I just want to thank you for being here –
I’ve never contemplated     my mortality
the way I do when I look at you
      Really makes you think